Men/Jeans

Dating is a nasty game, but a necessary one. Being single amongst a sea of married or otherwise coupled 30 and 40 somethings, I seem to have become a pet project. No one seems to believe me that I’m perfectly happy being single and I’m in no rush to ‘Man Up’.

 I know everyone means well, sending me e mails asking if I’d be up for dinner *wink, wink* with their brother, co-worker, or husband’s best bud. Not a week has gone by without someone trying to fix me up with ‘the perfect man for me.’ Why is my being single such a problem? I don’t think I’ll ever understand. Since when did Single become a Scarlet Class offense? I enjoy being single! I really do. Having the opportunity to meet and get to know a few men, knocking out the not so good ones (for me)and taking my time with the ones that have potential. : ) It takes the stress off of me, allowing me to go more slowly and not to jump directly into a committed relationship after one or two dates. My friends seem to see this differently, as if there is something wrong with me for being unattached. There’s constant pressure to bring a man to dinner, to have a boyfriend, and at least on occasion I hear the “you’re not getting any younger” speech. This may sound suprising, but I’d much rather be a single old spinster with a million cats than in a relationship with the wrong man! So, I date.

I can’t help but wonder if men, in general, are faced with the same stigma. As soon as their friends, co-workers, or even the lady behind them at the grocery store finds out that their single, do they get The Look? You know the one, the why are you still single/what the heck is wrong with you look. Do men face the same pressure to be involved instead of taking the time to date and get to know a person BEFORE making a commitment?

I know there are some people that are purpetual daters, never intending to settle down – This isn’t what I’m talking about… I don’t want to indefinitely date, I simply want to take some time to get to know somone, maybe a few someones, before leasing him for a committed relationship prior to the lifetime purchase agreement and I’d actually like it (very much)if the man/men had the same mentality. I don’t mind the idea of a little competition and comparison shopping, in fact I encourage it for both sides. Knowing what’s out there, weighing my options, objectively looking a the pros/cons of a potential relationship BEFORE getting into it saves me a lot of heartache. It can do the same for a man.

I guess it’s a lot like shopping for a new pair of jeans – very, very rarely does the first pair I try on fit perfectly and sometimes even after I buy them I discover that they’re simply not right for me, so I have to go back to the store for another pair… but with time and comparision, I know I can find the perfect one that fits me in every way; the pair that I hold on to for years and years to come.

~ by mina75 on August 25, 2009.