Puberty Germs

Sitting at breakfast today B’s voice cracked.  He immediately blushed and began rambling about his current situation:

Mom, this sucks.  The day I caught puberty my life ended.  I hate all of this hair in my arm pits; my deodorant makes it stick to me.  It itches!  I’ve got zits.  I hate zits!  They’re nasty and it looks like my nose is HUGE!  I hate talking because I keep doing this squeak thing.  Going out in public is embarrassing.  When’s it going to stop?  Why did I have to catch puberty? This SUCKS!

By this point I was struggling to hide my smile.  The day he caught puberty?!  I spent the next 5 minutes explaining that we don’t catch it; puberty isn’t a germ that we pick up if we don’t wash our hands and it won’t be over any time soon. Poor B, I could see that he’s going through a lot and I know its going to get worse before it gets better, but couldn’t bring myself to tell him that.   I remember my own crazy ride through puberty, but being female, I never (thankfully) had to experience many of the outwardly noticeable effects that it has on boys.  I dealt with mood swings, learning to shave my legs and underarms, and growing breasts, not a cracking voice, spontaneous erections, and what looks like a dirty lip due to burgeoning facial hair.  My little guy is becoming a man, much faster than I imagined possible.  I wish I could hand him a pill or rub in a cream that would slow down or even stop puberty, I really do, but I can’t.  So, for at least the next few years, we’re both going to have to deal with the effects of puberty, symptom by miserable symptom.  For now, I’m off to the store to buy medicated face wash and less sticky deodorant!

The Gathering of Ghouls

Our beloved Fred, the cheese ball head

Saturday was our annual Gathering of Ghouls!  Our friends arrived just before sunset to an evening full of Halloween themed games and treats.

Costumes were a requirement!  Those that arrived without a costume were ordered to the dungeon (basement) where the were promptly dressed by the children in the house.  (We keep a large supply of dress up clothes and old Halloween costumes for occasions just like this!)  Every year there are a few that wander in un-dressed. The kids couldn’t wait to get their hands on them.  This year they created a construction worker costume, using Little Jr. Tools and the matching tool belt, paired with my old hard hat.  They also somehow managed to squeeze a 6′6” man into my old Morticia costume.

For dinner we had Fred, the Carcass of The Beast, bat wings, zombie melon brain,  hummus grave yard, Witch’s hats, fingers, and toes, veggies and dip, couscous salad, and more.   I spent the days prior to the party preparing the food.  I whipped up Fred (pictured above) by slathering my favorite cheese ball mixture on a sanitized skull then topped him with Budding Beef.  I was supposed to insert hard boiled egg and olive eyes.. but lost track of time and forgot the day of the party.  Oops!  The Carcass of the Beast was fairly easy to make as well.  I used a small (new and sanitized) trash can and cut it into a rib cage.  I then covered the exterior with expanding foam.  Once that dried, I sprayed it with watered down red, brown, black, and purple paints.  The day of the party I lined the rib cage with foil and filled it with pulled pork.  It would have presented a bit better laid onto a silver platter lined with greens, but again – that pesky time thing.   The Bat Wings were fairly simple; I love that the sauce gives them a black glaze, perfect for a bat-ish look!  The Zombie Brain was easy, but time consuming.  It is a small ball watermelon, carved to look like a brain.  It took several hours to complete due to having to remove all of the green skin then carving the white flesh to look like wrinkles in the brain, with pink melon showing through between the whitish brain curls.  It was worth it though, it looked great and tasted yummy too. I also made a bleeding eyeball cake… I used the Wilton ball cake pan and a quarter sheet cake pan.  I filled them with red velvet cake and once cooled I cut the top off of each half of the ball cake sides… which were going to become my eyeballs.  I hollowed out some of the 1/2 balls and then iced the interior with royal icing.  I filled the hollow area with raspberry sauce (a simple sauce made with puree’d raspberries, strained to remove the seeds, blended with powdered sugar to taste) I then reapplied the top of each ‘eye’ and then did a crumb coat of royal icing.  Then I placed the eyes on the sheet cake and ice the entire cake.  I let it sit over night and the next morning I hand painted, using icing gel colors, a small paint brush and water, directly onto the icing.  It had crusted overnight which made it easy to paint.  I added veins, an iris and pupil. I was going to make rounds of clear gelatin for the iris/pupil and paint those with icing color, but ran out of time.  I think it would have looked far more realistic… but what I did end up doing worked great as well.  I pulled the plastic covering off of my son’s zombie gloves and used the zombie hands to  hold the eyeballs on the cake.  I poured, very carefully, red icing color around the eyes to look like dripping blood and used black reflective sprinkles on the rest of the cake. The hummus graveyard was simple and quick.  I found the idea and recipe in Family Fun Magazine.  Of course we had punch too… blood punch.  I poured ice into a very large cauldron  then set a glass punch bowl inside, filled with strawberry-kiwi juice.  The ice lightened up the inside of the cauldron which helped to show the red tent of the  Blood Punch.  I then put hands and a face made from ice inside. These were very easy to make.. simply fill two, wellwashed, latex gloves with water and freeze, do the same for a cheap face mask with the eye and mouth holes covered.  Floating the ice face/hands in the water adds a nice effect, as the face/hands melt, your victim appears to drown in the punch.  I found labels for condiment bottles, salt and pepper shakers, drink bottles, etc that said things like Black Widow Venom, Eye of Newt, etc I printed them on photo paper and applied them to containers/bottles/etc.

We also played a number of games.  All but one of the games were the same for both the kids and adult parties:

• During the kids portion of the evening we wrapped adult volunteers in toilet paper (for the older kids) and white streamer (for the younger kids) to create Mummies.  The kids broke into teams and raced to see who could cover their mummy in the least amount of time.
• Halloween Monster trivia game – I collected both well known and obscure facts on 13 Halloween Monsters
• Guess the Gross Body Part – Placing various houshold items and foods into plastic bags, covered with paper bags for a guessing game.  Some of the items used were:  a wet ball sponge (Brain), carved carrot bites (fingers/toes), pull apart Twizzlers covered with olive oil (intestines), popcorn kernels (teeth), torn up lunch meat (skin), peeled grapes (eyes)… etc
  

  This is me... trying to slurp down my jello

• Marshmallow Munch – Thread a string through a marshmallow and hang from the ceiling/door frame/bar.  Each participant held their arms behind their backs and had to eat the entire marshmallow, the first one to have the entire marshmallow eaten wins
• I ‘Vant to Suck Your Blood – I made thin sheets of jello jigglers out of cherry jello, each participant was given a 2×2 inch square (that is only about 1/2 in. deep) and a soda straw. The objective is to use the straw to suck up the blood (jello) The sound this game makes is quite disgusting, everyone couldn’t help but laugh our way though

We wrapped up the planned festivities at midnight with a Costume Contest.  I found ribbons for each category this year, but in years past I’ve given out trophies.  It all depends on what I find for that year.  The contest categories are:  Sexiest (adults only), Funniest, Scariest, Cutest, Most Original and Best Overall. I also gave out cardboard tags that I for Lamest and Halloween Slacker (no costume or took their costume off before midnight)  I’ve found these at novelty stores and stock up when I see them.

 

Most of the 21 and up party gang...

It’s our family tradition to hold the kids party from 6 to 8 and the adult’s party from 9 to whenever… this year we wrapped up just before 4 am!  Its always SO much fun!  After midnight everyone gets more comfortable, we kick off our shoes, some wash their faces and we settle in for a good game of Lunch Money, or whatever else seems to sound good at the time.  This year we also got into the Wii.  Have you ever tried to play balance games while drinking wine?  That’s awesome material for laughter and pictures!

Happy Halloween everyone!

An Unwelcome Visitor

The kids and I have been down and out for nearly 6 weeks now due to passing around the Swine Flu, otherwise known as the H1N1 virus.

It started out innocently enough; I thought it was a cold!  I woke up on Wednesday morning feeling a little out of sorts, by that night I had a stuffy head.  That was it, until Friday.  In my household I don’t have time to be sick.  If I’m down and out, who will cook, do the laundry, and chase away dust bunnies?  No one, thats who.  My immune system wasn’t cooperating.  By mid day Friday I felt like death warmed over.  It was bad.  I’ve never felt so sick in my life.  B (my 13 yr old) kept asking me if I felt ok and ordering me to bed.  In true Mom fashion, I refused and pushed through the rising fever and body aches until the room began to spin around 2 pm.  That was it, I was toast.  I went to bed and didn’t move again until Monday.  When I finally crawled out of my germ filled pit, I found the kids had done their best to take care of themselves, cooking and cleaning in true teen fashion… meaning that things were everywhere.  I didn’t have the energy to say anything.  I moved from my bed to the couch, where I stayed for the next 4 days, exceptions only being necessity.  All in all though, the kids did a great job.  They were wonderful caretakers; almost too wonderful.  By the time I was feeling half human again, E (my 12 yr old) was showing signs of the crud, B soon followed.

I had watched the tv blurbs, worded perfectly to scare the be-geebies out of folks.  I had read articles and talked to other mom’s about the impending doom of the H1N1 epidemic.  All the while, thinking very little of it.  Now, looking back, I’m glad that I didn’t buy into the hype.  The flu is horrid; I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, but in the end, it’s just the flu.  It swept through our household like a steroid ravaged gremlin, but left no scars.

During our handful of doctors appointments the pediatrician and my own doctor added a few tid-bits that some of you may find useful:

• If you’re feeling under the weather, don’t go out amongst the public.  Keep your germies to yourself until you know for sure that you’re not carrying the funk.  (H1N1, like many other bugs, takes 3-4 days to fully bloom)
• If you have a cough, don’t bother with a medical mask (they don’t work; the virus’ particles are too small and pass right through).  Instead, cover your mouth with the inside of your elbow.  This will lessen the transfer of your germs to others by keeping most of your cooties on your shirt, which isn’t normally touched by yourself or others.  Also immediately throw away used tissues and follow with proper sanitary measures.
• H1N1 can live for several hours to days on surfaces.  The BEST cleaner is HYDROGEN PEROXIDE!  The virus isn’t resistant to it and it doesn’t leave a foul smell or residue.   It’s also safe for most surfaces and fabrics.
• Daily use of saline nasal rinses and gargling are highly suggested for their germ killing abilities.  Since the H1N1 virus takes a few days to settle in, rinses/gargling can assist in washing the virus away before it has a chance to take hold.  Drinking hot beverages also helps.
• Taking your daily multiple vitamin and some extra vitamin C can help to boost your immune system.  I also suggest a table-spoon or two of raw honey each day and/or ginger (in tea form or raw) for their antiviral abilities.
• Most importantly, WASH YOUR HANDS!  Not just after using the restroom or before eating, but often.  Hand sanitizer is nice and sometimes effective, but many studies have shown that many sanitizing gels/sprays aren’t as menacing against germs as they claim to be.

All in all, a little commonsense goes a long way.  Stay well!

Don’t Judge A Book By It’s Cover

It’s National Invisible Illness Awareness Week, September 14th to 20th!

I’m a 33 year old mom of two busy, young teens.  I have soft pale skin, barely a wrinkle has begun around my eyes or on my forehead.  I have gentle curves, blue-green eyes, curly, long brown hair, and long legs.  I’m often told that I look much younger than I truly am.  I look healthy, so why am I wanting to talk about National Invisible Illness Week?

All of my life, I’ve looked healthy.  On the outside, I am the picture of health!  Inside though is another story.  From birth I have lived with invisible disorders.  Everything from internal birth defects to chronic disorders.  I learned at a very young age that I was a little different.  As I’ve grown older, my list of medical snafus has grown; all are chronic, most will worsten as time goes on.

I first stumbled upon NORD (National Organization for Rare Disorders) when I was in my late 20’s.  A friend of mine, whom is also a doctor, suggested that I check into it.  At 27, I had already been diagnosed with two rare disorders, by 33 I now live with four.  Nord is an EXCELLENT information resource for anyone that lives with a rare disorder or loves someone who does.  They offer a wealth of information, seminars, current medically related politics, message boards, and more.

Two other priceless resources are But You Don’t Look Sick and Invisible Illness.  Both were started by people who live with chronic invisible illnesses and grew into amazing support networks with message boards, blogs, research information, and more.  I have been a member at BYLDS for three years now.  It has been an amazing avenue of support and information.  Like anyone living with illness, the support of others, knowing that you’re not alone, is one of the most important parts of ongoing treatment.

As you may or may not have noticed, I keep saying  living with instead of  dealing with,  suffering from , etc.  I do this very purposefully.  In my short 33 years I have lived with epilepsy (age 7 through 17), cancer (at age 24), ongoing heart disease, syncope, renal disorders (coupled with renal deformities), degenerative spinal disorders (coupled with spinal deformities), arthritus, a mass on my brain, and more.  There was a time in my life, many years ago, as a teen struggling with self-identity, when I looked at my medical complications as burdens.  I frequently sat crying WHY ME? After some time I realized that my medical complexities are part of who I am.  I have a choice:  I can allow them to drain me and guide every aspect of my life or I can see them as part of who I am, a stepping stone of strength, understanding, and uniqueness. I can live with them instead of in spite of them.  Some days are harder than others.  There are days when it takes all I can muster to simply get out of bed, walk about, take care of my household and enjoy activities with my children, but I do it.  Every day I count my spoons and I move forward.  I appreciate the lessons I have learned due to my health and embrace every moment, big and small.

So, as with books, don’t judge a person by their cover! All of our stories have complexities, mine happens to have a lot of medical twists and turns, but its a good story none the less.   My story may be longer or shorter than some, but it’s just right for me.  All I ask is that people don’t judge me, or anyone else, by individual chapters, but instead take in the whole story.

BlogCatalog

To the 9’s

The International Federation for Produce Standards (IFPS) is a voluntary organization that coordinates standardized codes for produce sale identification around the world.  Their small stickers can be found on any individually sold produce, but not on bulk items.  The tiny and sometimes annoying stickers contain a four to five digit code, known as a PLU (Product Look Up) and inputting this number notifies the grocer/store’s computer of your purchase.

Until recently I didn’t pay attention to the PLU codes on my produce but after reading about their purpose, they’ve become a nifty assistant when I’m shopping.  The IFPS utilizes standard codes on all produce sold internationally.  So, no matter where I shop, whether I go to my local grocer, travel out of state on vacation, or even over seas to visit friends, the PLU will be the same.

There are two important PLU tid bits to keep in  mind:

• The IFPS has decided that all ORGANIC produce will be identified with a #9 prior to the standard four digit code.
• The IFPS identifies GENETICALLY MODIFIED products with a #8 prior to the standard code.

Therefore, if you wish to avoid the dangers of genetically modified produce, avoid the #8’s and search for the #9’s!  You can look up the IFPS’s standardized codes by visiting their website.

Gentlemen, a dieing breed

You’ve more than likely heard that chivalry is dead and that the idea of a true gentleman lives only in the movies and memories of our elders.  Sadly this is what many women today believe and I don’t blame them.  If a man opens a car door, stands at the table until the women sit, maybe even offering to push in her chair… if a man treats all people with courtesy and respect, manages to keep vulgarities to himself and hasn’t got a story flaunting his latest trip to  strip club, he’s a rare find.  I’m doing my best not to buy into the idea of a world void of true gentlemen. 

Chivalry isn’t dead, the concept of a gentleman isn’t lost forever, it just takes a more to find… which is so terribly sad.  I’ve had the tremendous pleasure of having gentlemen in my life; my grandfather was a true gentleman, I have had friends that were/are gentlemen, and I’m doing my best to raise my son to be a gentleman.  He frequently comments that ‘the other kids don’t have to’ …. which honestly gets under my skin.  Why don’t the majority of men and parents feel that the role of a real man is to be a true gentleman?  I’m not saying that progress should not take place, that women are in any way a lesser being and should be treated as such.  What I am saying is that the decency and respect embodied by a gentlemen is something to be valued not looked upon with trepidation.  Why is it that men/parents today are shying away from teaching and living these important lessons?  Since when did it become a sign of weakness for man to have a strong respect for women, to always carry himself with dignity, and to occasionally open a door or or two?  My son may dislike that I am trying to bring value to these traits now, but someday hopefully, he’ll find humble pride in them. 

At 13 he’s being raised to never call a person a bitch, whore, or any other less than respectful title, to see all women as people, not objects, to know the difference between the beauty of the human form and pornography, to treat all people, regardless of gender, race, or belief, with the utmost of respect, to open doors, offer to carry items, to maintain his temper and act with self respect at all times.  I hold my daughter to the same standards, this is after all an equal opportunity household!  I catch chuckles and eye rolls from friends and family on occasion when I stop my children and ask them if there was a more respectful or responsible route that they could have taken in a situation, or if they decline seeing a movie or playing with a toy due to the over sexualization, language, or whatnot.  They make these decisions of their own free will and I can’t help but feel very proud of them for this.  Even as young children they have learned and continue to learn the value of self respect and respecting others, being honest, and caring… etc.  It never fails to astonish me when they show such tremendous maturity and thought.  I am blessed to have such wonderful children!

Why are these traits on an endangered list?  Why aren’t they more embraced and celebrated in our society today? 

A gentleman embodies the following traits freely:

Honesty

Reliability

Humility

Prudence

Having a genuine passion and joy for life 

Now, if only the idea of a society filled with gentlemen were to find its revival… ah what a joy that would be!

For more on Gentlemanly Characteristics please visit Chap Talk, a great blog written by Robert and Jennifer Grundulis, all about the life and lessons of a real gentleman.

A Charitable Month

September is here! The first two weeks are quite full for my family.  Not only do we have various Labor Day festivities, but we also have a number of charity events coming up:

Friday, September 4th, The Greene in Beavercreek is hosting a Night at the Greene… Vegas Style! block party for the Family Violence Prevention Center.  The Family Violence Prevention Center is a full service domestic violence shelter, offering free housing, meals, clothing, and other care items as well as ongoing treatment for victims of abuse in the local area.  Dice will begin to roll at 7 pm with full Vegas fare: gambling tables, impersonators, live music, street performers, drinks, great food, prizes, and more.   All alcohol proceeds benefit the Family Violence Prevention Center!  This event is open to the public, but participants must be at least 21 years of age.  I’ll be trying my hand as a dealer at one of the various game tables.  Its sure to be a great night!

The following weekend, Saturday, September 12th, The Corner Cone Dairy Bar & Grill, in Yellow Springs, is hosting the Music for Medicine Benefit Concert in honor of The Luke Commission.  Various Dayton area bands will be playing every hour on the outdoor deck and The Corner Cone will donate $1 to TLC for every REGULAR ICE CREAM CONE sold that day.  Festivities kick off at 11:30 am and the music will be flowing until at least 9.  The musical itinerary is as follows:

11 am Full Circle

12 pm FOG

1 pm  Blueboy

2 pm  Bettina Solas

3 pm  Kaleb Perrin & Mark Beerse

4 pm  Windblown

5 pm  Herb & Fil

6 pm Smilin’ Gray

7 pm Six Cents

8 pm Peggy Welty

Volunteers with the area TLC office will be on hand throughout the day to share TLC’s mission, accept donations, and plenty of Evening in Swaziland Gala & Silent Auction tickets will be available for purchase throughout the day. (The Gala will be held on Saturday, November 7th at Cedarville University, tickets are $25, $200 per table)

The following Wednesday, September 16, La Rosa’s Pizzeria is hosting a family dinner night out for The Luke Commission.  La Rosa’s will donate 20% of all customer totals that present a TLC flier with their bill.  (Carry out, dine in, and delivery orders apply)  La Rosa’s will accept TLC fliers for benefit from open to close (11 am to 10 pm), so come on out for lunch or dinner, bring your friends, family, co-workers, or even a date!  * The flier (attached via link) is required for TLC to receive the donation from a customer’s bill!

Feel free to share these events with your friends and family.  The Family Violence Prevention Center and The Luke Commission help tens of thousands of women, men, and children every year. Community support is their livelihood!

A Not-So-Happy Birthday

I was faced with a conundrum today.  Needless to say, there was fall-out.

I come from a very toxic family.  It took many years for me to recognize that and now, 7+ years into recognizing dysfunction, abuse, and other forms of toxicity, I still sometimes get sucked in by my family.  BUT the good news is that I have made tremendous changes and continue to improve with each passing day. 

This weekend was rough because in standing against toxicity I also hurt my nephew’s feelings and caused my my children to feel left out. That was ROUGH.  My nephew S was celebrating his 10th birthday with family today.  My children and I make it to every family birthday party, if we can.  With 6 nieces/nephews it makes for a busy year traveling back and forth between our home in Ohio and the Kentucky towns where my family reside. Sadly though S’s mom, my sister, couldn’t help but be herself, even for my nephew’s birthday.  I was faced with a tough choice, reward her behavior by smiling through the insults, etc so that we can be there for my nephew’s party… my children getting a first row seat to the ongoing saga that is my family, OR keep my word that I won’t participate in their toxicity, tell my nephew happy birthday, grab the kids and head home… I chose to keep my promise to myself and my children, grabbing our bags, piling in the car, and driving home before the party started. 

In doing this I’m left with mixed emotions.  Both of my children have come to me on their own, at different times, and said that they are proud of me for leaving and not partaking in A’s attempts at control and manipulation, that they understand why we didn’t stay, but both also have said that they wish they could have spent time with their cousin for his birthday and that they don’t understand why things like this happen with my family.   My nephew also called, in tears, wondering where his cousins were. 

I am the only one in my family that has recognized and made strides to leave a life of abuse and toxicity behind.  I work every day to recognize toxic habits and encourage healthy ones.  I do all I can to maintain a healthy household for my children and I, but its not always easy.  Today is one of those days. 

I can’t help but wonder if this will get any easier.  I’ve done a fairly decent job of things when it comes to my life with my children, its only when my family is involved that I really struggle.  I know this is due to emotional ties, my desire for the healthy family I’ve never had but always wanted and the glaring inability for it to be healthy.  I recognize that they will all have to come to terms with the status of our family on their own, if it ever happens, and make changes within themselves, in their own way… its just very frustrating to want what could be so badly and know that it can’t happen right now, if ever.  And the impact that it has on my children, and my sisters children, truly upsets me.  I hope that one day the toxic nature of my family can be neutralized and that a healthier alternative can be found… until then I’ll keep my bags ready to go back to the car any time I am down for a visit.

Men/Jeans

Dating is a nasty game, but a necessary one. Being single amongst a sea of married or otherwise coupled 30 and 40 somethings, I seem to have become a pet project. No one seems to believe me that I’m perfectly happy being single and I’m in no rush to ‘Man Up’.

 I know everyone means well, sending me e mails asking if I’d be up for dinner *wink, wink* with their brother, co-worker, or husband’s best bud. Not a week has gone by without someone trying to fix me up with ‘the perfect man for me.’ Why is my being single such a problem? I don’t think I’ll ever understand. Since when did Single become a Scarlet Class offense? I enjoy being single! I really do. Having the opportunity to meet and get to know a few men, knocking out the not so good ones (for me)and taking my time with the ones that have potential. : ) It takes the stress off of me, allowing me to go more slowly and not to jump directly into a committed relationship after one or two dates. My friends seem to see this differently, as if there is something wrong with me for being unattached. There’s constant pressure to bring a man to dinner, to have a boyfriend, and at least on occasion I hear the “you’re not getting any younger” speech. This may sound suprising, but I’d much rather be a single old spinster with a million cats than in a relationship with the wrong man! So, I date.

I can’t help but wonder if men, in general, are faced with the same stigma. As soon as their friends, co-workers, or even the lady behind them at the grocery store finds out that their single, do they get The Look? You know the one, the why are you still single/what the heck is wrong with you look. Do men face the same pressure to be involved instead of taking the time to date and get to know a person BEFORE making a commitment?

I know there are some people that are purpetual daters, never intending to settle down – This isn’t what I’m talking about… I don’t want to indefinitely date, I simply want to take some time to get to know somone, maybe a few someones, before leasing him for a committed relationship prior to the lifetime purchase agreement and I’d actually like it (very much)if the man/men had the same mentality. I don’t mind the idea of a little competition and comparison shopping, in fact I encourage it for both sides. Knowing what’s out there, weighing my options, objectively looking a the pros/cons of a potential relationship BEFORE getting into it saves me a lot of heartache. It can do the same for a man.

I guess it’s a lot like shopping for a new pair of jeans – very, very rarely does the first pair I try on fit perfectly and sometimes even after I buy them I discover that they’re simply not right for me, so I have to go back to the store for another pair… but with time and comparision, I know I can find the perfect one that fits me in every way; the pair that I hold on to for years and years to come.